“I wanted reassurance from my doctor. I wanted to hear that my son was a healthy three year old who was very active and would outgrow his constant fidgeting, his inability to sleep, his refusal to listen or learn. I was exhausted and somewhere in the back of my mind a sign kept flashing that something was just not right.”

Maze Crawler

Call it intuition or just plain observation, but there comes a moment when you have a gnawing feeling that something is just not right with your child’s behavior. After dragging yourself to bed exhausted night after night, frustrated by your efforts to control your child’s constant motion, fidgeting, fights with other children, obstructive behavior, uncoordinated movements or inability to complete the simplest task, the Aha moment hits. Maybe I’m not such a bad parent after all. Maybe there really is something else going on here.

When that moment comes, don’t panic. Call your pediatrician immediately and make an appointment to discuss your concerns. No one wants to hear that their child may have an underlying health issue, but if you remain open to your doctor’s suggestions, you will have taken the first step towards improving his/her life and your own.   Early intervention can spell the difference between success and failure, a satisfying home-life and healthy relationships.

Okay! You’ve gathered your courage and called. Some parents I have spoken with tell me that once they make the appointment, they feel foolish – as if they had blown things out of all proportion and are tempted to cancel.  Where our children’s health is concerned, it is often better to be certain than to assume we are wrong. It only prolongs and can even worsen the worry and lead to greater problems.

Before your appointment there are things you can do to help your doctor recommend the appropriate next step.  Gather whatever information you feel might be useful in making a diagnosis. These can include notes sent home from her/his teacher, number of days you have had to come home from work to handle behavioral problems, falls that were not severe enough for a doctor’s visit, fights your child may have had, email or notes from family members about disruptive actions and, of course, your own observations.

Next, jot down questions you want to ask your pediatrician. For me, the “mental” list doesn’t work. I am sure to forget something important when I am actually face to face with the doctor and trying to listen to what is being said.  Your list of questions might include:

1. Have you had experience diagnosing or treating children with a similar behavior pattern or would you recommend I consult a specialist?
2. What’s involved in finding out what might be wrong with my daughter/son? Will my child have to undergo tests and how invasive are they?
3. Will my child have to take medication? What are the possible side effects?  Are there alternatives to prescription medications?
4. Can therapy help?
5. Does nutrition play a part in either the problem or its solution? How about exercise?

These are only a few of the questions you might want to ask. Try to take notes so you can think about what was discussed when you are alone and are clear when you present the answers to your family, spouse or partner.  Take time to absorb what was said and to understand your feelings about treatment, medication, therapy and other concerns.  Now that you have taken the first step, you are on your way to solving the problem.  Good for you!